life milestone

Remember the Anatomy & Physiology test I was moaning about these past few weeks? I took the test last Tuesday night but had no idea when the teacher was going to release the grades. I had studied so hard going in that I felt confident that I could pull off a B. It was the hardest I had ever studied for a test. Not being a very good student in my formative years - Gina did her best to help me learn to study. She went above and beyond by writing out the A&P PowerPoint handouts and 80+ vocab words on note cards. She did this all on her own while I was off at school. When I would return late in the evenings, she'd be waiting up to drill me with the note cards.

Brook had encouraged me before the classes ever got under way, as we sat on his back porch, he told me to "just do the work David - just do the work and you'll get through. If you fail a course, take it over and you'll know a little more each time you go." Jose' would email me from time to time encouraging me that I am not the same person I was those years ago. God has taken me through a great bit of healing these past years - I know that I am different being. I don't know how I got from point A to point B, but I know that there was healing of old wounds. Gina told me as classes began that this was my job, that she'd do everything she could to relieve me of office responsibilities so that I could focus on being a student. The first semester I only took two online classes and came out with a 4.0 average. This semester is more challenging. Everything was taken up a notch. Already, there have been overwhelming moments, so much to take in, so much to learn. I can't say that I was rusty because school never was a good subject for me. I remind myself constantly that it's a new day and to just do the work.

So I stepped into the Anatomy & Physiology test hoping to at least come out with a B. After I started filling in the blanks, answering the questions, it seemed that I knew the answers, I had total recall. The old David - the answers would have already set sail as I arrived on dock. Bon Voyage! Stress would overtake me and I'd hear that old 6th grade teacher of mine, Mrs. Graves (what an appropriate a surname she had) echo "you're stupid!" Well, Mrs. Graves curses are very faint these days. As far as I am concerned - they are buried with her. Like Andy Taylor once said, "People like that don't die - they just nasty away!" This test was a hard one, but there wasn't any curse or anxiety tied to it. Yes Irene, there was healing in it. I am sure there will be more healing to come and I pursue to run the gauntlet of an education.

I handed the paper in, feeling confident that I did even better than a B. I walked down the hall feeling quite confident that I in fact Aced it. I didn't want to say it out loud. I just knew in my heart that I had passed it no matter what the grade. I tried to put it out of my mind. I've had other tests in this program - but this particular test was the milestone for me. If I can pass this test, I can pass the others. It was a hard test. I can not express to you the tsunami of vocabulary and concepts that had to be grasped in order to pass it. It was damn hard.

Tonight the teacher handed out the grades for us to review. He wanted us to see what we had missed, correct the wrong answers, and hand it back in for an 5 extra points. I looked down at the paper in my hand and gazed upon 100 scrawled in red ink. I went numb. I flipped through the pages and not one answer was wrong. Not one. I even nailed the two discussion questions. I knew that I had felt good about the test - I was hesitant to hope - yet I made a 100! Half the class had failed the test - and I didn't want to do a jig in front of them - so I went into the bathroom and jigged in solitude. That moment to me was nothing short of euphoric.

I asked the teacher as I turned my paper in, that if I correct a mis-spelt word - could I get the extra five points too? He didn't count off for spelling and yet it never hurts to ask. He said he would. So let's up that grade to 105! I slipped out of class and went to my cell phone to give Gina the good news. She was as ecstatic as I was.

So I have another PowerPoint printout in front of me. The teacher is back at the board with new concepts to explain. Three chapters instead of two this time. Further up and further in. This is so not easy for me. This is so not my cup of tea - yet after the past four months - it's all doable.