This isn't original, my sister, Florrie, just E-mailed this to me. This is an excellent example of how some of the best humor is closely tied to real life. -David
CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only 1 - Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None - Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None - Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3 - One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5 - One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6 - One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy
Lutherans: None - Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
1 comment:
Here's a few more . . .
Church of Christ -- as long as there is no piano or guitar, it doesn't matter.
Free Will Baptist -- we choose not to change the bulb.
Non-denominational/Name-it-and-Claim-it types -- Why change the bulb? Just buy a new house.
and for those other than Christian . . .
Atheist -- There is no light bulb.
Buddhist -- hmmmmmm (with legs crossed).
Scientologist -- let the aliens change the bulb.
Agnostic -- We don't need no stinkin' light bulb
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