places: back to the unknown

I was the driver. It had rained most of the day, and it was still drizzling in the city.  A guy named Rod sat in the back right corner of the backseat. He wore a trench-coat, and fedora, and a tired look on his face.  

Rod looked as though he'd been delivering packages all his life.  He gave short instructions like "straight", "turn right here", and then "pull in here".

When he got out of the car, he told me to "Turn the headlights off and keep the motor running."

I did what he told me.

He closed the car door and took a leather satchel with him.  He poked his head in through the passenger window.  "Stay in the car,keep your eyes open and honk if you see anyone nosing about."

"Will do."

The car idled but my mind raced.  I pulled the gun from my coat pocket and slid it under the paper.  I didn't know what to expect.  I couldn't help the cold sweat.  I don't like sitting down with my back to the unknown. What next?

Though I am very familiar with the feeling of uncertainty, I never got used to it.  My palms were wet. I dried them off continuously.  I wanted to hold the gun.  I wanted Rod what's-his-name to hurry up. I checked the side-view and rear-view mirror constantly.  I like to at least have an edge.  I had the jitters.

I used to be the guy in the darkness.  I used to be the guy who did his dirty work from the distance.  I don't like this openness.  I'd rather be watching from afar.  I wish he'd hurry up.

I rolled down the passenger window to breath more of the night air.  The door opened and Rod got in.  I was startled.  I didn't want him to see me rattled.  He said, "DRIVE" with a commanding urgency in his voice.  Nervous, I fumbled for the keys and the car made the kind of noise that a car makes when one tries to start it when it's aleady started.

"Idiot.", came the voice from the backseat.

I got my act together and the car lurched forward.  I quickly turned the wheel and we could both hear my .38 hit the floorboard.

I looked in the mirror to see Rod shaking his head and rolling his eyes.