asking for a gift

"Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy. For one who speaks in a tongue speaks not to men but to God; for no one understands him, but he utters mysteries in the Spirit. On the other hand, the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation. The one who speaks in a tongue builds up himself, but the one who prophesies builds up the church. Now I want you all to speak in tongues, but even more to prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless someone interprets, so that the church may be built up."
- I Corinthians 14:1-5

My early years were spent in a Methodist church. Most of my influences are from a Wesleyan viewpoint. Even so, through my scripture reading as a young man I desired the gift of speaking in tongues. I can't tell you how many fruitless discourses I've had with my charismatic brothers and sisters down through the years - how I believe that tongues wasn't THE manifestation of The Holy Spirit - but rather a manifestation. The discourses were never initiated by me but rather by those who strongly felt like I wasn't filled with the Holy Spirit because I did not have THE manifestation which in their mind was tongues. The I Corinthians quote above has always been the basis for my belief.

"Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?"
- Matthew 7:9-11

Nevertheless down through the decades, since I was 16, I have earnestly desired this gift. I don't know why God has chosen not to give this gift to me - but I will continue to ask. Why do I have this desire if it indeed isn't meant for me? Maybe it's simply not my time - or maybe this gift might be a gift that my Father doesn't see beneficial for me. We are after all made for His purpose and His glory - not my will Lord but Thine be done.

I was telling Gina today about this old desire. I'd don't believe that I've ever mentioned this to her before today. She said, "David, why don't you ask your family and friends to pray for you about this?" Duh - great idea Gina. I'll do just that. So I returned to I Corinthians 14 where Paul urges me to pursue prophecy over tongues in order to build up The Church. So Lord - may I have two scoops?

Now I have some unique talents and know that I could fake tongues like so many folks do. I can vomit gibberish - but I only desire the real thing. I want what gifts God has for me. I don't want cheap emotionally generated imitations. I want what is my Father's hand for me. Let me prophecy Lord - that I may glorify your name - allow me speak to you in your heavenly tongue?

Lord - if you still keep this elusive gift from me, will you pour out your prophetic blessing over me? I want whatever gift you would have for me. If I am not ready - please make me ready.

To my brother's and sisters in Christ who read this. I'd appreciate your prayers concerning this.