vacant city

i know that I am disappearing
but it is my secret

the doc had a long name for it

but i can't remember

all i know is that i am fading from within

and i cannot tell her this secret

i cannot let on to anyone

that i am no longer ordinary
my end like all men is certain

but my end will come as a day
i will simply no longer remember
you or myself
my heart breaks
not because i am losing myself
but because i will lose you
somewhere in the process

does being a stranger
in a strange town
make it easier or more difficult
i could easily lose myself here

i need to work

i need to keep sending the money back home

i need to keep moving forward

into this uncertainty

no one really knows me here

no one knows me like you

no one will miss me here

i know you will

what a strange predicament
yet i cannot come to grips with it
it seems easier to keep going through the motions

day to day

call you
tell you how much i love you
tell you until i can no longer
until i cannot
remember you
beyond your reach
lost beyond recognition
lost somewhere
within my own reflection