Monday, July 7, 2014

RE: Paul's Epistle to the Americans

Dear Paul (the so-called "Apostle")

When you fell off your horse on the way to Damascus, did you fall on your freaking head?  How dare you write to us and condemn our individual lifestyles choices here in America!  You wrote that God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.   Well aren't you special! How dare you say that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, will have an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ. You also wrote (and I quote)
"Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God."  Why don't you pull the thorn out of your own damn side before you preach to us you hypocrite!  It is written to "JUDGE NOT LEST YOU BE JUDGED!"  Enough of this sowing and reaping CRAP! NOBODY'S PERFECT!  The God I serve is all about LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, and TOLERANCE!  My congregation are all OFFENDED and APPALLED that you wrote such a closed-minded and judgmental letter.   We were expecting a letter filled with hope and loving encouragement.  You are making God unhappy by your INTOLERANCE and JUDGEMENT. Your letter to us proves you are not only a HOMOPHOBE, but A HATER as well!  Next time you write us another letter, it's going straight in the trash can without even opening. The nerve that you wrote that letter under the guise of love and concern for your brethren here.  Some Christian you turned out to be!  You need to wake up and get with it.  Haters like you deserve to be in prison, so don't expect us to try to help get you out of there.

Sincerely,
Dr. Ichabod Wormwood
Pastor of The Emerging Church of Acceptance and Inclusiveness
6660 Progressive Way
Anywhere, USA 

PM Sunday Services Only.

P.S.  I have instructed everyone I know to un-friend you on facebook.  

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