Monday, September 17, 2012

letting go. leaning forward.

Well, the new health care reform laws finally forced our clinic under.  We are broke.  We could not hold out any longer. We had to let go of an old dream of ours.  I will not go into now because quite frankly I have told the heart breaking story time and time again.  Maybe later, but not at this minute, not in this post.  We closed August 31.  We packed up our stuff through out the month and tried to make a clean break of it.  It's not that easy, we are still trying to get old business behind us.  Nevertheless we let go of it.  We are not bitter or angry, we are letting go.

Throughout this ordeal I have experienced a weariness on every level, body, mind and soul.  I am glad August is behind us.  I look back at what was our business as one would look back on where a sunken ship had disappeared beneath the surface.  There is nothing back their.  There is nothing to look back to.  There is no comfort there.  There is only this small lifeboat and faith that God will bring us to shore.

He will.

We are survivors.  Throughout this ordeal God has graced us with a peace that we will be alright, just hang on and remain faithful.  Each of us have experienced times we've found ourselves lost in dire situations.  We can either fret and succumb to the delimma, or lean into Him and press on.  It all boils down to trusting in God - or not.  This is not my first hardship, but I hope I've become a wiser fellow by this time.  I'll confess that I have a checkered past of succumbing to fear.  I feel that I have grown a little, knowing this time that God always gives us sure footing if we only trust in Him. 

Throughout this ordeal, He's given me a peace and His gentle presence.  I have found joy in the thick of it.  Yes I am weary.  Yes I am tired.  But I don't have to rely on my own strength and understanding.  Opportunities come and fall through and that of course is disappointing but not essential.  I don't know about tomorrow, or what I will do.  I will just wake up and follow through with what comes my way.  I can't declair that I am confident in the future.  I just know that I am confident in God's faithfulness.  I want to come through this one bravely and faithful.

Thanks God.
Post a Comment